Mature Gaming » man

Fear and loathing in Gamesville: A Christmas wish

gazzara — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 10:58:29 +0000

Well, it’s that time of year again; children get excited, adults try to get excited and overdrafts get tested to the limit.

I would just like to say that I’ve not been too well these last few weeks and I had intended to write about something else but medication (both prescription and self) rendered my skills……….below par. I couldn’t articulate myself properly and, if I’m honest, wasn’t really in the mood. It’s all good though so January will see the return of the rant but right now I’m in an altogether different mood.

Ahhh, Christmas. I love Christmas. Not the horrible, cynical monetisation of it by the global retail sector. No, nobody loves that side of it unless they have problems upstairs. I’m talking about the soft, dreamlike quality that the sights and sounds elicit. Tastes and smells that trigger strong childhood memories of excitement and wonder. Rubber and pine anyone? Maybe that one’s just me but I’m really talking about the atmosphere of Christmas. I loved it as a child and because of that I still love it as an adult. I have many fond memories and a handful involve video games, which is good if you were starting to wonder about relevance. I grew up in a town called Lewes and it was a town that did Christmas very well indeed, in the old times, classical sense, compared to where I live right now…….which doesn’t (Brighton is about as festive as watching a loved one flat line). The annual late night shopping was a proper event that would bleed mulled wine if you could cut it. Lewes also had the Rotary Club Santa (a charity event) that spent most of December visiting various areas of the town. It would always visit my area on the 18^th or 19^th and this would be the true beginning of Christmas for me: The seven day build-up. It is, at the time of writing, the 18^th. Seven days to go then and I’m writing this in a dark room lit by the twinkling of my rather shaggy-looking fibre-optic tree. It’s nice, it feels retro………and I’m getting misty. I have one or two memories from the Eighties involving games (I remember spending most of one Christmas Day trying to complete Double Dragon on the Master System……..and failing), when I was still pretty young, but the strongest ones come from the Nineties when I was a teenager and I was absolutely and totally in love with games. This was the Golden Era as far as I’m concerned and nearly all my fondest memories of gaming come from this decade.

1990: Early November had seen me part with my beloved Master System in favour of the Mega Drive. I got it for my birthday with Altered Beast free and a copy of Revenge of Shinobi. I thought it was the best thing ever and was after a game for Christmas. When my dad asked it was a total no-brainer; Castle of Illusion. I’d read the review in Mean Machines and was chomping at the bit to play it. I remember staring at that review for hours on Christmas Eve, I literally couldn’t wait. I think I must have at least entertained the idea of breaching the unwritten festive contract and stealing it from under the tree during the night. I didn’t but I was desperate. The game came out a few weeks before so a couple of friends already had it so I had that shit to contend with during the build up too, and for the life of me I can’t remember anything else I got that year but Mickey Mouse was all consuming. So, the morning came and I was up early, too early. I had to wait and wait until the others were ready to open stuff. Finally the time came and the rest of the day is a bit of a blur to be honest but I do remember this: The game was absolutely brilliant and I played it all day (except for the eating parts). To this day whenever I hear the level one soundtrack I get a flood of festive memories and a big smile. It’s still the tune I whistle when I’m in a good mood……which is a little weird but it’s an automatic response. If you’re reading this and you’ve never played it then make it happen, it’s the perfect time of year for it. Trust me.

1992: On a particularly rainy Saturday in December a shopping trip resulted in the purchase of my most sought after game of the year: Contra 3: The Alien Wars. Released in late November in the U.K Contra suffered a bizarre name change to Super Probotector, which sounds like a kinky, mech-themed Japanese dildo. Still, I had it and before I got home and it vanished into the gift cupboard for two weeks I got a glimpse of the box, the screenshots taunting me through the sheen of the shrink-wrap. It was going to be awesome. Sadly, I got the sickness that year and spent most of Christmas day feeling like warm turds, sweating under a duvet. My memory of this is getting out of bed later in the evening and forcing myself to play it in spite of the feverish haze…….but I can’t be too sure if that actually happened. What I do remember is feeling better on Boxing Day and getting up early to play it and it was indeed awesome. So awesome that I called my friend and got him over in the afternoon and we spent many hours playing and having a great time. But it’s the anticipation that counts. A game that I had spent months lusting after, talking about, reading about, to get it for Christmas really was the icing on the cake and why I have such fond, vivid memories of playing it. Guess what I spent New Year’s Eve doing? That’s right, I was a total nerd.

1996: I saved the best for last, although I will admit that I was 20 years old and my childhood was over but………still young. Anyway, by now I had a Saturn and was smitten. What a great machine but truly great games had been a bit thin on the ground. I already had the brilliant Nights into Dreams but decided to treat myself to a game a couple of weeks before Christmas, Daytona USA I believe. That game was okay but it came with a free game: Christmas Nights, which was a two level demo of Nights but with a Christmas theme. If memory serves correct it also reacted to the internal clock inside the console and became Winter Nights in January. Absolutely everything that I loved about Christmas was fully embodied in this game; the music (a version of Jingle Bells I believe), the visuals, the cold feeling, all supremely atmospheric and festive. I don’t believe that there has ever been a game that has captured the essence of Christmas quite like this did and, given today’s technology, that’s a bit weak. If you have a Saturn that still works and you have this disc then I urge you to dig it out now and play it again, at night…..with the Christmas lights on. If you’re feeling a bit Scrooge right now then I promise it will help. If you still have a Saturn and you don’t have this game, there’s still time and e-bay. If you doubt my words then have a look at a YouTube video of the game and then see if you still feel the same. It’s all I’ve got these days. I spent that Christmas Eve playing this until the early hours with a big grin on my face, but that might have had something to do with the amount of mulled wine and other assorted booze that had gone down my neck that night too. It is one of my fondest festive memories……and it’s because of a video game. If anyone reading this has a spare copy that they would like to donate to me ( and a working Saturn that they would like to sell to me) then get your people to call my people, it would make my Christmas.

Now, the Diazepam is starting to kick in and my misty eyes are moving towards bleary, but before I stop and have a play on Castle of Illusion I would like to make a suggestion. I don’t have any kids, I don’t plan on having any kids either but I imagine that Christmas can be more special to those of you older gamers that do because you can help create great memories for your kids, like the ones you might have. So, if the young ‘un is restless on Christmas Eve and can’t wait until morning maybe blow the dust off the old Mega Drive/NES/PSone and share with them a festive gaming memory from your childhood, tell them the story behind it. I know that games have changed a lot since my childhood and the advances in technology have replaced much of the childlike wonder and imagination with high definition realism, and the kid will probably have forgotten all about it by the time morning has broken, but I bet you won’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is…….

………Merry Christmas!

Fear and Loathing in Gamesville – Playing with yourself!

gazzara — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:54:09 +0000

If someone asked me what my favourite gaming memory was the answer would be Rampage. Ten years old, three of us sitting round my friend’s house after school, I always played Lizzie, constantly lost, occasionally broke one of the arrow keys on the chunky Amstrad keyboard and always had uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Once, if memory serves me correctly, some wee came out and I had to go home. Proper fun times. Yes, I know that I was a child and things are different when you’re young, but fun’s fun regardless of age. It didn’t end there, for there were four more generations of consoles that catered for the two to four player fun times. In the time honoured tradition of video games most of the attempts were crap but I have equally fond memories of the likes of Micro Machines 2, Goldeneye, Bomberman and those bizarre wrestling games on the Nintendo 64 that were a travesty on your own, but the stuff of legend with three or four players. There’s nothing quite like giving your friend a dead leg if he or she beat you. Instant payback. So, I have to ask; what the fuck happened?

Yes, I got old, I’ve got shit to do and most of my friends don’t really play games anymore, but it’s not like the local multiplayer game has disappeared, they’re still around. Nintendo got my support by basing their last console on the very idea of four way fun in the same room. Mind you, they quickly lost it (the horror of Monkey Ball……..the horror). XBLA is a good place for these, thanks to the retro styling of many titles, but ninety percent of the time I have a pad in my hand it’s just me, playing with myself. It’s not just me. Excluding those who are still stubbornly partying on with the Wii (give it up folks) most gamers these days do play with many others…..from all over the world. That’s right people, the party’s over thanks to the Internet. Online gaming has been around for a while but, in my view, really took hold with the current generation of consoles and the higher broadband speeds.

Now millions of gamers all over the world get to enjoy the online gaming experience: Beat total strangers, top the world rankings, earn some random achievements, quit mid-game because you’re a tool, kick people out of the lobby you’re hosting just because you can or because they might be black….or foreign…..or better than you, and let’s not forget the freedom to highlight your staggering lack of intellect and real world experience simply by opening your mouth.

Ah yes, the wonderful, wonderful Internet. For all of its amazing uses (and there are many) it’s also a stinking, fetid cesspool. Just as Godwin’s Law (Google it) covers the inevitable outcome of most, if not all, online forum debates the online gaming community follows a similar, as yet unnamed, law: Nearly every online multiplayer game that includes eight or more players will, over a long enough time frame, end up with one player calling another player a n****r, and meaning it.

It’s true and it’s a law that needs a name. It’s bad enough just listening to some of the brain dead lunacy that exits the mouths of many online gamers but throw racism in and….well, it will ruin any party. It only takes one. If there is one thing that the internet has done for sure is help to show someone’s true colours. Just read the comments under most YouTube videos; true colours being splashed around like a Jackson Pollock. Casual xenophobia is one thing, but I’ve experienced enough aggressive racism online to last many lifetimes, and I’m a casual gamer who racks up maybe six hours a week at best. This is nothing new to most of you I’m sure, but if you haven’t really experienced it before then you’re lucky.

I can’t speak for the PC or PS3 crowd either but Xbox Live is teeming with assholes, ready and willing to put a dark cloud over a bright pastime. I know that you can unplug the headset. I know that you can mute people. I know that you can report them or kick them out of the game. I know that you can have private groups with friends and other like-minded gamers……….but you shouldn’t have to. Just because there are ways of maybe avoiding some of these people doesn’t excuse or solve the problem.

It isn’t just the racism though. There is another particular breed of player who likes to sully the experience: The serious gamer. I don’t know about you but I play games to unwind, or just to help me forget I exist for an hour or so, not to actually compete for real and then go monkeyshit when I lose. I mostly lose anyway due to a moderate skill level across most games, but it’s the taking part that’s supposed to be fun, right?

Does anyone actually care about winning or getting achievements? The kids might, but any adult that does seriously needs to grow up and get a life. Occasionally you read about some sad individual who died after several days straight playing World of Warcraft, bottles found filled with urine, empty cans of Red Bull littering the scene and a porn filled hard drive. Anyone else think that they got what they deserved? Probably not, I tend not to think like most.

Do me a favour though: If I’m found lifeless, slumped over my Xbox, pad still in one hand, limp cock in the other, blood poisoned by lack of food and too many energy drinks, please make jokes about it. I’d do the same for you. I’m not tarring every gamer with the same brush. I know that at least fifty percent of gamers are good people but it really does only take one loser to ruin a good time…….or an annoying child that won’t shut the hell up (fat kids that breath like the Alien queen doesn’t help either).

So, what can be done for gamers like me to help us get back into online gaming with strangers, the new multi-player experience? Muting? Quitting? Playing without the headset on? Defeats the point of playing doesn’t it? Maybe I can start a clan, just me and other like minded people? Shit, I’m thirty five years old, I don’t have the time. I could do what I’m guessing most other lone gamers do and that’s simply put up with all the bullshit and accept that it is the norm. Accept genuine racism, xenophobia and homophobia? Accept ignorance and stupidity? No, I’m pretty sure that’s not the right thing to do.

Blame the parents? Nope, too easy. Recently I’ve been playing Driver online and I noticed that nearly all the players, whether their mic is switched on or not, stays completely silent and gets on with playing the game and having fun. Just the occasional jovial expletive ringing out followed by some giggles. Maybe some are learning, maybe this is the way forward? Stop being part of the cesspool. It’s a little difficult to be optimistic. People are once again at the heart of the problem and it’s not going to get any better any time soon. Spend thirty minutes watching BBC News 24 and see what I mean. Particularly as, like I mentioned in my previous article, many of the mainstream retail games thematically encourage the ape inside the sapiens. I have a dream though, a dream which has all of the bad gamers switch off the headsets and play in silence while better, more secure folks get to engage in conversation and harmless trash talk. Those who are disliked online are probably equally disliked in real life so they have an obligation to do this, it is payment due the rest of us. Never going to happen though. Modern society does not know how to breed equality and fairness.

I don’t have a solution for this problem. I don’t know how to stop people from sucking major ass. As online gaming features seem to take more priority over the quality of the product these days, encouraging more spurious human beings to play online, I can see my interest in video games slipping away as the years pass, the reasons that I used to love playing with friends disappearing in the online fog of war. Once, many years ago, after a fierce Bomberman match, my friend hit me so hard in the balls it broke one of the legs on my bed. The bed collapsed and we all slid into a heap of arms and legs and wires. My balls hurt but it was damn funny, none of us could move for a whole minute because of the laughing. That wouldn’t happen playing online. The loser would just call me a “fucking gay n****r”……….and then quit. That’s not the same kind of funny. That’s not any kind of funny.

It’s a sad truth but the only kind of real fun to be had when it comes to playing video games is to play with myself, and that’s what I’ll be doing later for sure. Until next time.

Battlefield 3: Caspian Border 64 player multiplayer gameplay trailer

gazzara — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 07:17:52 +0000

Watch intense 64-player vehicle warfare – including jets – from our beautiful Battlefield 3 multiplayer map Caspian Border!

This marks the premier of jet gameplay as played at GamesCom 2011. Caspian Border is a multi-faceted, vehicle heavy map that exemplifies classic Battlefield gameplay. Anybody that is not excited by this and is into military shooters I feel will need their heads examined!

Trials HD to get the retail treatment

gazzara — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 14:03:30 +0000

RedLynx today announced that Trials HD, its award-winning Xbox LIVE Arcade game, is coming to retail stores as part of a new Microsoft ‘Triple Pack.’
The ‘Triple Pack’ bundle will be available in North America on April 19, Europe on May 13, and Japan on May 19, for a suggested retail price of $29.99. Along with Trials HD, the ‘Triple Pack’ includes Splosion Man and LIMBO, two other popular XBLA titles. It will also include a 48-hour Xbox LIVE Gold trial and 160 Microsoft Points.

“Having Trials HD available at retail is exciting,” said Tero Virtala, CEO of RedLynx. “While Trials HD is in many ways the poster child of the digital download revolution, we understand that there are still many gamers who only purchase games through traditional retailers.”

“Thanks to our partners at Microsoft, all Xbox 360 owners now have a chance to check out the Trials experience, along with two other great games.”

Fear 3: The Ides Of March trailer

gazzara — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 11:31:32 +0000

Warner Interactive have released a new trailer for F.E.A.R. 3, the much anticipated shooter due to be released soon.

Beware… March 15^th marks the Ides of March. This is the fateful day on which Julius Caesar was betrayed and murdered by his closest companions, including friend Marcus Brutus who was as close as a brother to him. To commemorate the day, we share with you a section of a new F.E.A.R. 3 in-game cinematic where brothers Paxton Fettel and Point Man recount their violent and hostile past. The two are haunted by themes of betrayal and family ties as the game progresses. Check it out below.

It’s party time as Pac Man Party hits stores today

gazzara — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 11:10:11 +0000

There’s a celebration going on and everybody is invited as Namco Bandai announced today that Pac-Man Party is now available exclusively for Wii.

Set in the theme of a birthday party, Pac-Man stars in this new venture packed with dozens of mini-games, challenges and surprises. With something for the entire family, Pac-Man Party is chock-full of non-stop action as players use their Wii Remote and reflexes to compete against one another across unique virtual game boards.

Since his 1980 debut, Pac-Man still reigns as one of the top pop culture icons globally with the franchise spawning hundreds of products that provide engaging entertainment for people of all ages. Pac-Man Party continues this legacy by offering a game that captures the spirit of the franchise and the hearts of its players. Featuring more than 50 exciting mini-games and eight characters to choose from including newcomers Woofa, Patra and Roger, players will be fully immersed in fun filled time-based trials. From dodging a cascade of blocks, to racing and sports challenges, there is non-stop action for everyone.

Depending on a player’s mood, they can select three modes of play. Story mode provides the opportunity to explore all the game board worlds and protect Mr. Cookie’s secret recipe. Mini-Game mode offers a quick fix for those who want the sudden rush of competition without the commitment. Party mode has up to four friends competing across different boards to collect the most points. Raising the stakes a bit more, property can be strategically developed on any given space which can increase wealth and provide the quickest route to victory. However, unlike traditional board games, if someone lands on a spot that is already occupied, players will have to fight for ownership via challenges.

To help level the competitive playing field and encourage big comebacks, Power Cookies can be utilized during each mini-game to increase a characters size or put extra force and speed behind each effort. But the party doesn’t stop there. As an added bonus, Pac-Man Party also features a Classic mode where players can experience the original arcade versions of Pac-Man, Galaga and Dig-Dug.

For anybody that has not got a Wii, then please do not forget that Pac Man Championship Edition DX also released this week on PSN and Xbox Live and has garnered crazy scores which you should seriously consider purchasing.

Red Dead Redemption: The Man From Blackwater

gazzara — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:06:01 +0000

Following the showing of the short animated film, The Man From Blackwater on Five USA last week, Rockstar have released the short in full for your viewing pleasure.

The Full 29 minute episode is embedded below and shows the exploits of John Marsdon as he hunts down his old friend.

Red Dead Redemption short film to air in June

gazzara — Fri, 28 May 2010 17:31:35 +0000

Unholster those guns because John Marston is coming to your t.v. screens in June with a 30 mini short movie, directed by John Hallcoat.

Titled “The Man From Blackwater” the movie will air exclusively on Five U.S.A. at 11.25 BST on June 5th. The 30 minute short film, directed by John Hallcoat of The Proposition and The Road fame will chronicle a slice in time of Protagonist, John Marston as he tracks down his former fellow outlaw and friend, Bill Williamson. Along the way, Marston encounters many of Red Dead Redemption’s eclectic cast of dreamers, misfits and liars.

Using the world of Red Dead Redemption as a virtual film studio and created entirely with in game assets and technology, John Hillcoat re-imagines Marston’s pursuit of justice and salvation.

Capcom announces Mega Man Zero collection

gazzara — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 15:44:24 +0000

Capcom has announced that the Mega Man Zero Collection is coming to the Nintendo DS.Previously only available on GameBoy Advance these four Mega Man Zero titles have been brought together on one DS cartridge to deliver the most exhilarating handheld Mega Man action you can get. The Mega Man Zero Collection is scheduled for release this summer.

Mega Man 10 dated for March

Splosion Man gets price reduction next week

gazzara — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:22:07 +0000

Microsoft has announced that the popular arcade title, Splosion Man will be reduced in price next week.Dropping in price to a mere 400 points as part of xbox live’s Deal Of The Week, Splosion Man will be re-priced for the week starting 2nd February and will be available worldwide.

A lot of buzz has surrounded this game and there is no better time than this to get your hands on it and have a play at a reduced price.

No related posts.